“What do you want to be when you grow up?” I asked my 5-year old twin girls, hoping for some profession that turns true in 30 years and I can point them to that moment. What came next was much better:
Daughter 1: “I want to be a bear when I grow up. “ Alright then, no limits for that imagination and she chose bears as she thought of them as the kindest animals out there. My daughter now scores Harmony high on aptitude tests, keeping the peace at home.
Daughter 2: ” I want to be X ( inserts her name) when I grow up”. Whoa, that is deep, young jedi! Now, she has big dreams and is pushing hard towards them. She is resilient and pushes us all to excellence.
You can imagine me bursting with pride that my girls are not easily influenced by the professions they heard in the kindergarten( florist, doctor, cake shop owner, etc) and I swear to myself to support in whatever they want to pursue as it would be million times more awesome than what their parents want for them.
Being a parent makes you relive your childhood but look at it from another corner. It gives you new appreciation for your parents but also spotting which cycles you need to break as they are old-school parenting patterns. Some of these cycles take a long time to break. It took me 14 years as a mother to get to these rules and slowly improve as a mother and my path continues:
- Ask for feedback ( and actually accept it) and apologize when you are wrong ( hard for many people, but I want my kids to know parents are also human beings)
- Involve the children in the decisions concerning them as much as possible( what school they want to go to, what do they want to study, where we go on vacation, etc)
- Respect them and enjoy them ( that means not looking for what to fix or improve : that took the longest time to learn, as I thought I am helping)
They are the reason I work hard as I want to show them girls can have it all : family, career they love and time for hobbies/ personal development. I am a leader and a follower when it comes to parenthood. It is the shortcut to walking the path of self-awareness if you let it. See you on the path!
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