Find mentors who inspire you and help you on the path you have chosen. No one gets there alone.
Companies have mentorship programs, e-learning is bigger than ever and I personally, as an eternal learner, have spent thousands of dollars for books and courses on various topics that interest me. Ever since I was in high school, I have spent most of my money on food, music( cassettes, CDs…who remembers those?) and books. I have had “virtual”mentors: people who shared wisdom through a self-paced course, books, youtube channels, etc. I learned a lot and continue learning from them every day as these days we have access to so many brilliant thinkers.
However, today I want to talk about 2 of my real-life mentors who influenced my career and mindset, when it came to strive for excellence in what I do. I met both of them when I was working in a boiler-room type executive search firm in Tokyo, initially supporting them as a researcher and a few years later, joining them in the leadership team of the firm. While both of them were Americans and top billers, they could not be more different. They took me under their wing and taught me high standards on sales, negotiations, strategy and so much more. I was lucky to find them early in my career, I know…well, not quite, I made a point of looking for them, but that is a story for another day. The 2 of them shared a few lessons I carry with me today and have served me well in and outside of the office. Here are 3 of those lessons:
1. Earn trust with people in your life:
It is common to want to hide from an unhappy customer or someone who is disappointed with us and avoid the conversation, the negative feedback, etc. When I was in my first year as a recruitment consultant, I had my first deal which went south as the person who joined did not work out, despite the extremely rigorous screen process from our firm and even more rigorous interview process at the client. When I heard the news, I did not want to call the client, thinking of hiding under my desk for a month, if at all possible.
One of my mentors, who was more of a teacher type, heard the news and called the client immediately, setting up a meeting the same day. I went along, thinking naively that, as he was the best negotiator I have seen in my life, he will show data of how we have done everything possible, how we could not have seen this, that the client is equally at fault, etc. He did nothing of the kind – listened to the customer`s feedback and concerns, apologized for the churn and we helped the client hire someone new.
2. It is not about ego in that room and who is right and who is wrong, what is fair and what is not…
took a while to process for my “green” brain. We went on to hire a lot more leadership roles for that client, but the lesson my mentor taught me stayed with me. To this day, I go to anyone who I think may give me feedback that I can do better and also watch who does that around me at work. It is uncomfortable, gut-wrenching at times, but it is how we grow.
3. Most important lesson of all: Don`t ride the wave, it may kill you!
My other mentor, who was more of a coach, taught me the lesson also in my first year as a consultant and I am quite certain it was what kept me sane in high-pressure situations. When you have a primarily sales organization, the majority of the people have their self-esteem fluctuate, based on whether they were closing deals or not. People were swelling with pride one day, bossing people in the office and sitting in a quiet corner in the bar on another, trying to disappear in their desk at work. I have noticed how my mentor could keep a calm manner, regardless of how his deals were going. It was a superpower I wanted bad. He taught me to have a lazer focus on the goal, but trust the process ( review and audit often) and remember that I am the same person whether I close the next deal or not. My ego, ambition and self-critical self was not ready to easily digest that lesson, but once I did, I felt I was almighty. Over the years, he sent me a couple of letters which I kept and I find the same message in there ” Stay focused, stay humble.”
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